When you make a decent cup of the Amazingly, Freakishly Good coffees that Klekolo sells, you have 1/3 of a cup of grounds that sit, spent – exhausted even – in the filter expressing their sacrifice. “Dammit man, we gave our all for you!” And they did. Don’t know about you, but I always wondered if there was more amazing coffee goodness lurking in there. Well, I did until I tried it. Then, well… not so much.
However, folklore is full of other uses of coffee grounds. I’ve examined a few and I relate them here, on the good side, and came up a few of my own, perhaps not so good. For example:
PRO: Deodorizer – Dry grounds on a baking sheet and put them in a container in your fridge. Washing your hands with coffee grounds will counter smells like onion and garlic on your hands after food preparation.
CON: Cat Box Additive – Until you see your kitty on caffeine AND catnip, you don’t really know what shock and awe is. I have a pile of fluff in my living room. Used to be a futon.
PRO: Insect Repellent – Sprinkle grounds around and on ant hills and they will leave town. Slugs and snails don’t like the java either.
CON: Bear Repellent – Doesn’t work. Just… trust me on this.
PRO: Brown Dye – Sure the grounds will let you down on flavor, but the color of re-steeped grounds can dye fabric, paper and Easter eggs.
CON: Spray Tanning Alternative – Um… on the plus side, I’m not orange. The bear found me attractive.
PRO: Cleaner for cast iron cookware – Coffee grounds are great at scrubbing out cast iron pans without jeopardizing the pan’s built-up seasoning. The deodorizing effects take care of food odors here too.
CON: Body Wash – My shower puff looks like hell and I haven’t had a single date since I started showering with grounds. Except for the bear. And he won’t sleep with me.
PRO: Kids’ Modeling Clay – I’m skeptical on this one, but apparently equal measures of corn meal and dried grounds plus a little salt and enough water to bind makes a textured clay that the kindergarten version of me can eat as well as mold.
CON: The same recipe does not work as a vegetarian meatball.
So, as you see, you can gain additional value from the deliciously spent beans with a little ingenuity and knowledge of folklore. Or you can do it my way.
Drinking: Organic Mocha Java